A relationship is molded
by the first few keystrokes
Early games determine life and death
and now that I'm so far in
I doubt I can
become a Jesus for
50 days of your love
I lost this game
before the first pawn
Look at what you've lost
You are coke bubbles
popping stains on my pounding legs
that rip grass astrewn
on an island of wild things.
We've ran from
citric dreams to reality
across texted landscapes
and revelation
paper thin worlds slip away
to always land on you
sipping lips and
dehydrated from drink
we tear-dance cans of coke
knowing that we need each other
grimstone foundations
nailed to a statue of
my guild masterpiece.
Whether lenten, leaden
dealing card or plaid
I felt you linger -
just my oxygen...
so vital and blanketed
by useless spaces
doomed to vacuum
when you were all I need
Most of all, you laughed cola air
sweet, high and contagious
we fluttered in a brown sea
of dreamscape memories
holding hands and soda tabs
from parties to the bark of wood
so vast, a layer of sweet ice
all too thin to break
My vision isn't what it used to be -
I heard love singing
and failed to recall your voice
through all the liquid resonance
so early I had drawn that card
and now, beside you
(as always)
you whisper -
"They also use coke to get blood off of highways."
gasping you down,
my freelance interstate
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,861 Reviews
The point was that it's 50 days until Pentecost, I believe. So that's how long Jesus was amongst the rest of the world after his death until he rose into heaven.
Ergh! Whenever I read your work, I get jealous.
Before this line, you talk about Jesus. Because of this, I think you ought to make this forty days of your love. Why? Because forty was a very important number for the Jews and for Christians. After all, you have the forty days of Easter and the forty years in the desert...
Basically, it would help your symbolism, I think.
Anyway, good job (as always). You probably get sick of hearing this, but you really do have an excellent poetic style.